Birds at Salt Creek and Bear River. What's Our Hurry?

 Sunday, Frankie and I hit the road in search of migrating birds.  Things are all running early this year and I was afraid I had missed the Snow Geese and Tundra Swans.  It turns out I did miss the greater part of that migration, but did find other birds.

We packed a lunch and water and headed up the freeway.

A couple of months ago, UDOT raised the speed limits for all interstate freeways along the Wasatch Front to 70 MPH -- even through the middle of Salt Lake City where lanes increase up to 6 and 7 lanes in each direction.  It's crazy.  At my age, I'm not interested in speed, but I try to go with the flow.  But it feels like we're all hurtling toward sudden death.  North of Ogden, the speed changes to 75 MPH and narrows to two lanes each way.  Traffic is heavy and has a high number of semis in the mix making that part of the drive tricky.  Either you stay in the slow lane behind a truck and drive around 60, or pass and try to keep up with those doing 90 in the fast lane.  I tried keeping to the slow lane and passing at no more than 78 MPH and then getting over again so faster drivers could pass me.  I didn't want to hit 80 as I have one of those Allstate Drivewise devices on my car that tracks my driving performance for purposes of a discount.  It tracks how often I exceed 80 MPH (among other things) and that is a negative.  So I didn't enjoy that part of the drive at all.  But I did get there fast -- one hour from my house to the Salt Creek parking lot.

I guess no-one likes driving freeways.  They are bland and all the same.  Not like driving the old country roads and back ways.  So people drive faster just wanting to get to their destinations as soon as possible and not enjoying the drive.  When UDOT raised the speed limits, their justification was that people were already driving those speeds anyway, so it simply made sense.  Frankly, that does NOT make sense to me.  If people are breaking the law, write more tickets.  With that kind of logic, we should do away with speed limits altogether.

I may just opt for back roads through that 75 MPH section in the future and drive through the little towns of Perry, Willard, and Brigham -- "Fruit Way" as it's called, for all the orchards, farms and fruit stands along the road.  And I always opt for Legacy Parkway in Davis County, as it is a limited access highway with no cross streets; but the speed limit is 55, it has quiet asphalt instead of concrete, has no sound walls, and no semis allowed, making for a relaxing pleasant drive. And after all, it's not just about the destination.  We need to enjoy the journey.  I'm not in a hurry like everyone else. I might just slow down and enjoy the drive sometimes.

At Salt Creek, I found only a couple of swans, too far out for photos.  I was delighted to find a large number of Sandhill Cranes all around.  I could see some and heard more calling from hidden spots.  Some were flying overhead.  It made the trip so worthwhile, even though I didn't get any good photos.  I was surprised there were other visitors at the refuge, too.  Several cars came and went.  I normally have the place to myself but more birders are discovering this sweet little spot.

We found our way to Bear River refuge next where things are sort of between migrations.  The swans and geese have mostly moved on.  But I was delighted to see the first pelican of the year, two Clark's greebes, and a bunch of Avocets, all portending things to come.

My photos leave something to be desired as the midges are out and it's very hard to stay outside the car or even roll down windows without being mobbed by the pests.  But here's the best of what I captured.

Great Blue Heron

 Ducks in flight

 Cinnamon Teal ducks

 A lonely Clark's Grebe

 A bunch of Avocets

 

First pelican of the year

 

 Much of the refuge is open water awaiting the next wave of migrants.

Planting Some Seeds

I've struggled so much the past couple of months with being productive and sticking with my plans, and I've felt so much guilt as a result.  But as I was sorting through some old notebooks in my office this week, I came across some of my original lists from before I started any remodeling (not only do I write lists, I save them!).  It brought back to mind the gargantuan job I had ahead of me at the time to clear out rooms, dispose of stuff, to plan and execute each remodel project.  Now that I look back, I wonder how I accomplished it all.  I decided to take the time today to scan through all of my various blogs, personal and public, and try to get a feel for the timing of events and how I was feeling throughout.  SOOOO much has happened in those years.  Births, deaths, marriages, divorces, moves, retirement (mine), friends coming and going.  It is astonishing to me to read about it all encapsulated in one morning.   There were plenty of ups and downs. But I kept an even keel most of the time and NEVER gave up on my goals.  Some things got completed late or were deferred until another time.  But I was ever prioritizing and sticking with it.  And all along the way I seemed to be analyzing who I was and where I was in my life.  A lot of introspection.

The truth is, I have accomplished a lot!  Really!  I have to be proud of myself for what I've achieved and the goals I've completed.  What I have on my lists these days is so small in comparison.  My review left me feeling so good and happy about what I have been able to do, and positive and hopeful about future possibilities.

My theme throughout it all was "Just Do Something".   I don't know if I heard that somewhere, or if I just made it up, but oh, that theme served me well.  When the job is big and overwhelming.  Or when you have so much else going on, sometimes you can only do a little on the project.  But every little bit gets you a step closer to finishing.  This is a good time for me to remember this.

Today, because of the time I spent on my review, I decided to skip the office project and do another little pressing task instead:  I planted some flower seeds in a starter tray.  I'm hoping to grow seedlings for annuals that I like in my yard and patio pots.  We are months away from worrying about planting outside.  But I'm hoping to have some nice little plants by that time.  I planted three varieties of zinnias, Mexican sunflowers, delphiniums, verbena, and I experimented with planting some of the red berries from my asparagus fern as I had read you can do that, and they are so nice in pots.  We shall see how things turn out.

I think I planted some figurative seeds today as well as a literal ones.  I want my life to continue to evolve and I want to continue to be engaged not only in things that help others, but in things that please me and make my world nicer for myself.  And I will try to give myself little pats on the back for successes big and small.

Busyness

If it's March, it must be the start of winter project #3.

At the start of January, I laid out specific projects I wanted to complete in each of the first three months of the year.  You wouldn't think I would have that much to do having completed all the remodeling.  But I felt a couple of the rooms that weren't a big part of the remodel other than doors and baseboards needed some freshening up and new life.  And some minor repairs were also needed.  So I set the tasks and deadlines.

Last week I read two different articles about "busyness" and why we seem to want to inflict it on ourselves.  The gist of the articles was that we sometimes work more than we need to and push ourselves harder than our bosses, families, or others truly expect from us.  Why?  We seem to get some satisfaction from the martyrdom or victim mentality; i.e., I'm so tired and so busy, etc.  As if we are slaves to our lives.  We might even feel we are failing if we leave some gap of effort unused.  The problem with busyness is that can be joyless.  The articles suggested that we understand our limits and know when to stop.  And to take pleasure in the work and activities we do.

This is good advice for me.  I push myself and give myself deadlines for no reason whatsoever except that I expect to be productive.  And I sometimes set myself up for failure.

In the case of my winter projects, I nearly bombed in January.  But I came back strong in February and completed all projects for both months on time.  The projects were my bedroom in January, and the TV room and one bathroom in February.  I had things to do like mount a large and heavy mirror, spackle and paint various screw holes, etc., in the rooms, mount some new towel bars, clean walls and carpets, buy new bedding, artwork, and so on.  The lists were long and detailed, but almost everything had some sort of a glitch.  Like the painting.  I needed to match a specific color of green for one room and red for another. Unable to find just the right match among the hundreds of paint samples, I ended up buying little pots of those sample paints in several colors, and then mixed and experimented until I got a perfect match.

As things progressed, successes gave me renewed motivation.  But some days I just didn't want to work on any of it.  And if I took a day off from it, then I gave myself plenty of guilt for being lazy or unmotivated.  Wow, how silly is that?  These things made the house nicer for sure, but nobody was making me do them, and my deadlines were completely arbitrary.

I need to think a bit about why I do that to myself.  I think it was only when I finally decided to drop the deadlines and simply work at the list of tasks, that I finally began to have fun and enjoy what I was doing.

Toward the end of February I was down to finding accessories and artwork.  I decided I wasn't going to just hurry and buy something unless I really liked it -- even if I missed the deadline.  With the pressure off, I began browsing online and in local shops. And I'll be darned if I didn't soon find the perfect items.  So with a couple of days left in the month, I found myself with everything finished for January and February.  And eager to get on with March.

This month I tackle my office. It has been neglected and a catch-all since I retired.  It still has those boxes of photos and memorabilia I never addressed.  That's the biggest thing.  And I may not get it all done in a month.  But I've broken it down into a list of tasks.  I'll work at those and see what happens.  But I definitely plan to have some lazy days.  And plenty of naps when I feel tired.  And no guilt, no matter what.

After March, I won't do month-long projects anymore.  I shouldn't need to really.  But there's always plenty to do.  I've started a list of One-Day Projects.  Things like painting the patio furniture.  Or sharpening my garden tools.  The list has no dates or deadlines except that I will try to complete one project a week throughout the summer.  And that's enough because I'll be tending my grandsons for the entire summer as well, and trying to keep up with my share in looking after my parents.

So it still sounds like busyness in my life.  But I won't be a slave to it.  I will take pleasure in small successes and give myself plenty of leeway.  After all, I'm retired, and there's nobody making me do anything.  So I'm going to do just what I want!

Here's Frankie posing with a new painting I choose for his favorite lounging niche in the TV room.  See the little white dog in the bike basket?  That will be us this summer.  

Whew, got through January!

Well, yes, there's another day left.  But it's as good as done.  I don't do January well these days (years).  I blame mostly the horrible polluted inversion air we have every January.  It really drags my mood down and some days I don't function very well. 

I made the usual New Year's resolutions this year but did not post them here.  I am spending more time posting to my private journal and that's where I track the resolutions and progress.  Well, January was almost a bust with that regard.  But in the last week, I seem to have snapped out of it.  I saw progress on every item.  Naturally, one of my resolutions is to work on specific house and yard projects every month.  I wasted most of the month, but am making up for lost time now. I could possibly have my January project finished next week.

I don't feel bad about that.  I realized this month that I need to give myself a break sometimes.  Setting goals and then failing right away was making me feel guilty and unhappy with myself.  But then I looked around at everything I've accomplished in recent years.  Sometimes progress happens in spurts, and sometimes I just have to be lazy.  Even my idea of lazy is not really--I'm so busy with commitments to help other people.  My goals are arbitrary.  But they sure aren't worth sacrificing my feelings of happiness, contentment, and self-worth.  I will cut myself some slack.  I'm not wonder woman, but I am good at getting stuff done -- eventually.  And I will.

So far, so good with 2015.  Bring on February.

P.S.  I've actually been able to get out birding several times this month.  But my favorite bird of the month was a visitor to my suet feeders.  A little Ruby-crowned Kinglet.  I've never seen one before, let alone in my own yard.  It's a blurry picture taken from inside the house as the guy was quick and elusive.

I have my name back and a new license

I spent a couple of hours today and jumped through all the officialdom hoops needed to get a birth certificate with my correct name and nothing crossed out.  Cost was $20 at the Department of Vital Statistics.  They were remarkably helpful and efficient.  That was the easy part.

Back at the DMV, I was treated to having a new picture taken, which was equally as bad as that last one.  And was required to fill out a new application for a license. Jeez, the one I filled out three weeks ago wouldn't do?  They wanted to charge me $18 for the change, but I protested.  After all, they accepted an unacceptable birth certificate which necessitated the change.  The supervisor was consulted and they reluctantly agreed to waive the fee because they should never have issued a license until I provided a corrected birth certificate.  They then went through the application with a fine tooth comb looking to see every "t" was crossed and every "i" dotted.  Even gave me another vision test.  Now really, was that all necessary?  Yes, because we are the DMV and we have the power.

Ah well, it's all done, and I have a temporary license with the new one to be mailed in a few weeks.  Crisis resolved.  My good humor is intact.

My name is no longer my name - so I'm told

It's a strange thing to wake up in the country of my birth and find that both my birth certificate and the name I've used all my life are no longer recognized by my government.

I renewed my driver's license in December.  They mailed the new license to me as I didn't have all the right documents the first time I went in.  I guess when you have to go in a second time, they can't give you the license on the spot and have to mail it to you.  Maybe I should back up and explain a bit.

Five years ago the Utah state legislature, in its fear and paranoia about non-citizens ("illegal immigrants" in their words) getting driver licenses, implemented new requirements for ALL license applicants.  You must now prove you are a U.S.citizen, prove you live at the address you say you do, and prove your social security number is your own.  There are various documents they accept.  And they don't bend those rules.  I no longer have a valid passport, so I used a birth certificate for proof of citizenship, which they accepted.  But I had an unaccepted document for social security number and had to return a second time.  It seemed all was good.  

Until I received my new license in the mail.   

My name on the license was Becky RAE Stauffer instead of Becky ANN Stauffer.  What!?  I called to report the error and after lengthy discussions, I was informed that my birth certificate had been altered and that "Homeland Security will not allow us to accept altered documents."  

Yes, my birth certificate has a change on it.  My parents changed their mind about my middle name while I was still in the hospital.  Since the birth form had already been typed up and signed by everyone, the hospital simply crossed out Rae and typed Ann directly above.  And all my life that small change has proven to be no problem for enrolling in school, applying for my first driver license, social security, employment, U.S. passport.  The health department has always provided me with legal certified copies of that same birth certificate containing the change, and it has never been a problem.  Now I am informed that my birth certificate is no longer legal and I must have a new one issued.

So here I am at 67 years old, no longer having a valid birth certificate and with a different LEGAL name than the one I've used my entire life.  I am so baffled, frustrated, and angry at being forced to jump through these hoops.  The state health department tells me that for $20 I can get an "abstract" birth certificate with the corrected name which the driver's license bureau will accept. So there is that additional cost, a trip to the health department and another trip to the DMV.  And I suspect there will be a charge to change my license, too.  And no guarantees the DMV will accept the abstract.

And while it might be tempting to blame Homeland Security and terrorism for this hassle, make no mistake about it: the Utah legislature is responsible for all this trouble -- for requiring all legitimate citizens to prove their citizenship.  What a joke of a state I live in!

And as an afterword, when I first failed to provide the correct documents at the DMV, I observed that nearly everyone applying that morning had a similar problem with documents.  When I went back, I asked the clerk if she thought 90 percent of applicants failed to have the correct documents.  Oh no, she told me, it's more like around 60 percent.  It boggles the mind to think of the ridiculousness of a law that is so confusing that most people can't easily comply.  And then think of the inconvenience and cost to the applicants and to the state as well for having to process the application twice and then mail out the license later.  Just unbelievable.

I rarely get angry.  But this would be one of those rare times.

2014 Year in Photos

Not sure if this will work or not.  I just noticed that Google+ created a year in photos for me.  It's much better than the one Facebook compiled.  I'll try to share it here: Year in Photos

If the link doesn't work, please let me know in the comments.

Happy Birthday to me -- a little late

I kept it low key this year.  I'm 67 now.  I feel ambivalent about the number.  But I find my life rather unrecognizable after this tumultuous year, and I feel like I've lost some continuity somewhere.  I've made the usual lists and resolutions and am moving with positivity and hope toward 2015.  But also with some wistfulness.  Would things be different if I had an anchor?  A rock?  A shoulder?

“When You Are Old"

WHEN you are old and grey and full of sleep,
And nodding by the fire, take down this book,
And slowly read, and dream of the soft look
Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,
And loved your beauty with love false or true,
But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,
And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,
Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled
And paced upon the mountains overhead
And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.”
― W.B. Yeats

Seldom-seen son pops in for a visit

It wasn't exactly a happy occasion.  My first ex-husband's wife, step-mother to my sons, died after a long illness.  My son who lives in Delaware made some fast arrangements and showed up to spend five days with us.  I'm sorry for the family's loss, but I was so happy to see my son.

With just 24 hours notice, I pulled together a Christmas dinner.  And for the first time in almost six years, I had all of my kids together at once.  It was fun.  Food was good.  Yes, we had our vegan guest again, and no problem.  I know how to handle that.  I actually did a little less cooking this time and bought more prepared items just for lack of prep time. 

My kids are having a great time spending lot of time with their younger brother.  He lives in Delaware, but his own two kids live in Virginia. Consequently, all of his time off is spent getting his kids for visits and he just hasn't been able to squeeze in a visit for years.  But we're hoping this summer we'll have him and the kids out here.

But for now, just basking in the love and joy of the season and a rare visit with my son.

Thanksgiving 2014 - Going Vegan

Preparing all the food for Thanksgiving is a lot of work, from the planning and shopping, to the prep, cooking and serving.  This year my daughter, who is vegetarian, invited some friends, one of whom who is vegan.   No problem.  I've had a couple of vegetarians for quite a few years now, so I'm already used to either converting dishes to vegetarian or making alternative dishes.

My daughter and friends brought a vegan entre and dessert.  I adjusted my recipes to make as many of my traditional dishes vegan as possible.  I substituted vegan margarine for butter, substituted coconut milk for cow's milk, and in the case of the stuffing, also omitted the egg.  I made a hearty mushroom gravy that included vegetable stock, vegan margarine, and wine.  I also made the traditional turkey gravy.  I whipped up the mashed potatoes with a can of coconut milk and no butter or margarine at all.  They came out so delicious and creamy, I think that may become my permanent way of preparing them. I cooked salmon as well as turkey since a couple of my vegetarians will eat fish. The salmon has become a tradition, and now I cook small turkey and large salmon, because even the meat eaters enjoy it, too.  Of course, I used no meat drippings or giblets or sausage for the stuffing and did not stuff the turkey.  The advantage to this, of course, is that you can make the stuffing the day before and then just warm it up before dinner. This year I used coconut milk and vegetable broth in the stuffing, and it came out possibly better than ever.

When I mentioned to a friend I would be preparing vegan dishes for our dinner, she was flabbergasted and wondered how I would be able to do all that. But really, you can see it wasn't that much more to do. Simply by substituting a few ingredients and omitting some, many of my traditional recipes were converted to vegan.  Our vegan guest had many delicious dishes to fill his plate and he appreciated it so much, saying that often when invited for dinner, he gets served a salad because people just can't figure out what to make.

There were 12 for dinner this year. The food was so good.  The guests lingered for hours.  We all had dessert and coffee later.  And when everyone left, they loaded up the leftovers and took every last bit except green beans (which will be my leftover fare).  Seldom has a Thanksgiving dinner gone so well.

If you have vegan or vegetarian guests for dinner, don't panic.  It's not as hard to accommodate as you might think.   You don't have to sacrifice flavor.  You don't have to make those dishes that require 15 ingredients--some you've never heard of.  Make simple adjustments to your favorite side dishes, and pick up a main dish option at Whole Foods, if you need to.

Happy Thanksgiving!   The 2014 holidays are officially launched.

I served buffet style as my table is so narrow and we were a bit crowded.

Once again, switching the living room and dining room furniture allowed room for adding all the leaves to the table and giving us some walking space around the table.

Incidentally, you might wonder how I dared have no rug under the table to protect my new floor.  Actually, I carefully applied felt pads to the legs of all the furniture. Not only does that protect the floor, it makes it so much easier to move the furniture. And sliding your chair in and out from the table is so easy, too.  (You know how awkward it is when chairs won't slide.)

Happy Birthday, Frankie

One year ago today Frankie came to live with me.  Since we don't know his exact birthdate (or even his age), the grandkids and I decided today would be his birthday and that he is now four years old.  What happiness he has given all of us. Such a sweet little guy, loving to everyone, and no naughty little dog faults.  How lucky we are to have him!  Happy Birthday, Frankie.

Autumn 2014

Life these days is so much about caring for other people.  But at the same time, I'm managing to continue to tackle projects.  Yes, there are still projects on my list.  This weekend I managed to clear out all the boxes of Christmas decorations from under the stairs, and throw away or give away everything except the few I still use.  The nice thing is that now everything will fit on easiily-accessible shelves in the garage instead of under the dark, scary stairs where spiders and who-knows-what-else lurks. 

And I took a few pictures of the autumn around my yard yesterday and today.  Leaves are halfway finished falling.  I'm not raking just yet.  Wait a week or so until most are down.  And then I'll probably phone Alberto anyway.  Today, I'm taking a much-needed day off for some downtime with my little Frankie.

Blood Moon, October 8, 2014

Full moon, Hunter's Moon, Blood Moon, all the same moon today.  I was up early and enjoyed watching all the phases as it progressed.  The red color was thrilling to see.  I tried taking photos, but had forgotten to find the tripod and my efforts looked more like timelapse with a string of moons captured during the long open lens.  Blurry, too, since I skipped the autofocus for manual and did not have contacts in the eyes to really tell when I had a good focus.  So all in all, it was fun getting up to see the event, and I came away with a shot decent enough that I could crop and "shop" to make a decent illustration here.

October

Reposting this from a few years ago.  Love the change of seasons.  It's a beautiful autumn here so far, if rainy and wet.  Leaves a changing a falling, just as they are supposed to.

October

From my open window

This mild October morning

A breeze

With musky, ripe scent
Swirls through my space and me.

The giant elm across the way

Soughs, bends, straightens

Slowly,

With age-stiffened limbs

Not unlike my own.

Silhouetted against a still-dark sky,

Its leafy fullness

Shows no hint of changes

Soon to come.

Neighbor houses closed up tight

In their man-made coolness

Do not share this pleasure

I enjoy—a treat

For all the senses.

I sit by open window

My house fragrant

With the new season.

I breathe of it deeply

And feel a kinship.

I, too, am autumn.

My day ahead is busy,

Duties tug,

Pulling me away

But the breeze persuades me

To stay a bit longer.

To feel this coolness

And taste a delicious ripeness

And receive the subtle messages

Of change.

Copyright 2011 Becky Stauffer