So Much Change

 

Is it possible to have too much change at once? I'm thinking it is. The past two months my daughter has been helping me with various projects in the house to get it ready to sell. To be honest, the house should have been ready long before now. Part of my problem is procrastination and part is that I have such a linear way of thinking about the process: I feel like things have to happen in a certain order and no other way will work. It's my mind trying to think through the efficiencies of what I'm doing and how to proceed so I don't end up doing things twice. Of course, I overthink things. A lot.

With my daughter helping me, it's forced me to stay more or less on track. She respects my linear thinking as she inherited some of that from me. But she has pushed me to get on with it and get things crossed off the list. The list. Some 80 items of things I think need to be done before I can list my house for sale.

And I have crossed off more than half the items at this point. But she is a teacher and has now gone back to work for the fall and can't come over and help as much. I took advantage of that this past week and, frankly, got lazy and unproductive. Although, a small excuse kind of boils to the surface when I think about it: A lot has changed in my house and it's a little bit hard to adjust to so much change so quickly. I notice it in Frankie, too. Now his bed is in a different location because of changes in my bedroom. Even after a couple of weeks, he seems a little unsettled about sleeping there. I know how he feels.

Just consider the large furniture that has left my house now: the grand piano, the large Queen Anne desk, the huge china hutch (68" wide), my tall bulky chest of drawers from the bedroom and most recently all the rest of my bedroom furniture. That last item was not on the list. But as other rooms began to feel open, spacious, and lovely, the bedroom still felt heavy, dark, somewhat oppressive. Well, the walls are a dark green to start with. But the furniture I had come to hate was big, dark brown, too ornate, and in bad condition. It felt to me that the room needed lightening, I already had white curtains and had switched to a new white with green comforter. I could see I was part way there. It was very clear that the old furniture needed to go and I needed something light.

This was not a new idea. I'd been looking at furniture for some time and I knew it would need to be light gray, white or off white. I looked at many options online and made a spreadsheet to help me keep track and to compare (yes, I am that person). My plan was to live with the old furniture until after moving and then buy the new things to be delivered right to the new place. But suddenly, a few weeks ago, I had a whim and decided to order my furniture at once.

I did it. I ordered the furniture from a well-known online company after much searching, comparing, and reading customer reviews. That was all a story in itself, but I'll spare you the details.

I immediately removed all items from my exiting furniture and put everything into large bags where I could find what I needed during the transition. I gave the old furniture away. It had too many issues to try to sell it. I'd had it for over 40 years, and my in-laws who gave it to us had it some years before that. It was old and ugly. But when I listed it for free, someone was at my house within a couple of hours and carried it all away.

As I awaited the arrival of the new furniture, I cleaned: walls, carpets, baseboards. The room felt so clean and fresh. I slept on a bed without a headboard pulled away from the wall a few feet, and discovered, how comfortable that was. That old wood headboard was creaky and overpowering. I had purchased a white padded headboard to replace it some weeks earlier, but hadn't installed it awaiting the room cleaning. But even with no headboard at all, bedtime felt more peaceful and I found it easier to fall asleep.

The furniture arrived, and I quickly had it set up. I paid the small extra fee to have the deliverymen take it directly to the bedroom rather than leaving by the garage door.  That was well worth it and I didn't need to call on family members to carry the very heavy pieces in. I did, however, unpack the items myself which was messy and took longer than I expected with lots of cardboard and styrofoam to deal with. I only purchased a large dresser and two nightstands plus the headboard. I had fewer but larger drawers now. I didn't get a tall chest of drawers because I had emptied the old one and reduced my drawer contents to all fit in just the dresser. I'd ordered the matching mirror but ended up sending it back as it was just to much matchy matchy in the room. I kept my old mirror and it's perfect. I didn't then, and still haven't, attached the feet to the pieces. I'll do that at the new house. It still looks pretty, but I thought the feet made the furniture too tall for my room. I wanted to keep things sleek and serene.

I don't know why I waited several days, almost a week, before moving my clothes into the drawers. The bedroom looked beautiful with everything in place. But the change was so big, both Frankie and I felt like we were in someone else's house. Even after filling the drawers, I struggle to remember which drawer has what and I'm still adjusting.

So if I was lazy last week and unproductive, maybe I needed that. I needed time to start feeling at home again in my bedroom and other rooms of the house. To get used to the seriously big changes I've made.

And I think I'm about there. I woke up today in a good mood and feeling no pain in knees. I looked around at my beautiful bedroom and felt pleased. I'd had six hours of uninterrupted sleep, which is very unusual for me, and might have slept longer if Frankie hadn't gotten up. The soft quiet headboard is one factor in my peaceful feeling. But there's more. The room really is serene and more sleep inducing. I should have done this long ago.

I feel ready to get back onto that list and finish up the last remaining items. There are no more really big changes to make. Mostly what's left is cleaning and rearranging. In my office I will pack up all my own memorabilia projects as well as the slides project from my parents' house. Those things will sit in moving boxes in the garage and will find their way to the new house in that state. I won't try to tackle any such projects now.

The garage remains the biggest thing to tackle still. And even though that involves getting rid of a lot of stuff, it won't have the same impact on me, I'm sure, as the inside of the house. I also now need to do some autumn sprucing in the yard. My yard care guy has become somewhat unreliable. But the yard is in decent shape considering we've had watering restrictions this year and the grass nearly died. Recent rain has got things growing, including the weeds. I'll do a little weeding and try to plant a few things for color. That will do. Oh yes, I still plan to paint the front porch. Well, these are large tasks and will take me a little more time. But I'm very very close now.

Of course, the biggest change of all will be moving into a new house. Maybe the major change in my bedroom will have helped prepare me mentally for that big change. I do think there is such a thing as too much change at once. And it can be debilitating. For awhile. But at some point, I have to pull myself together and carry on.

Morning visitors. Mom and three fawns (number 3 wandered around the side of the house). Look how green my lawn looks after two heavy days of rain! It was all yellow a week ago. Ignore the weeds. I'll get to them.