A Passage

 Mom died July 16, 2021. There would be no chance to grieve for days to come.

 

https://www.myers-mortuary.com/obituary/Barbara-Griffin

Each ensuing day felt like a year as we went through the rigors and chaos of planning and carrying out the funeral and burial. Now, just 11 days later, it seems impossible that was all nearly two weeks ago. There were some real challenges with just organizing the program for the funeral -- the logistics of working with 7 other siblings and large families all around. Further complicated when we had everything nearly set and we learned we had to move the funeral up a day or delay till the next week due to a state holiday that was celebrated on Friday (we opted to move up a day), and everything had to be reconfirmed or changed. We somehow did it. And by somehow, I mean by sitting at the computer, on text, on email, on phones (both mobile and landline) for 16 hours a day for several days running. On Sunday, I never even got dressed.

My sister and I met initially with the mortuary where mom had made arrangements for her casket, funeral, and burial, but had not given us any clues as to who should do what at the funeral itself. I ordered the flowers, wrote the obituary, and pulled together and arranged photos for the online slide show which was also shown at the mortuary during visitation. I worked out the program with some help from siblings. That part was challenging, with people unsure if they could be in town, and many wanting to be pallbearers but few wanting to speak. In the end, we had a really nice mix of speakers, musical numbers, prayers. The sister who was helping with the program was also working full-time and ended up needing my help to follow up on items while she was at work, including making arrangements with a bagpiper for songs we wanted and what time to be at the cemetery. I also coordinated with our officiator who was from mom's local Mormon ward but also happened to be an old high school friend of mine, going over what we needed him to do in conducting the funeral and the topic of his remarks.

It sounds like I did it all. I did a lot. But each of my siblings were making their own contacts with their family members and coordinating back with me, and I was the primary contact for the mortuary. So I didn't do it alone--everyone had a part. My older sister headed up notifying extended family. My brother's family arranged a family luncheon for after the funeral. Some siblings found photos for the slide show. But I did pull it all together in the end. It was so much work, in fact, that it was hard for me to have time for grieving or even accepting that our mother had gone.

The day after the funeral, I crashed. I was numb and trying to come to terms both with losing mom and wondering if we had honored her well. I began thinking of things I should have mentioned, should have done. I didn't do much for four days, trying to make the mental and emotional transition, trying to find some equilibrium. Now, on day five, I am starting to function and getting ready for some sense of normalcy and routine -- starting with cleaning my house which has been badly neglected. I'll give myself some slack as enter a new phase of my own life. There is still much to do.

I wrote the following rather light-hearted reminiscence and posted it to Facebook. It's all true. Click on the link above to read the obituary, watch the slide show.

*****

I'll tell you something about my mother a lot of people don't know: she was a computer geek. It's not so strange for a woman to be sharp at computers. Except for her generation. She was born in 1928. She got her first DOS-based personal computer when I got mine sometime in the 80s. I worked for a small computer company and we dealt in mainframes, but eagerly awaited the advent of affordable personal computers. Mom and I taught ourselves DOS, word processing, and dBase by watching programs on public television. She wrote little database programs and mastered file management; later graduating to spreadsheets and specialized software, Windows, and more advanced uses. She was sharp and really did get it. She used her computer every day and upgraded to new ones as time went on. In her work at the IRS, she was often called on to participate in computer testing and training. At home, she made crafty things for holidays, grandkids, church. She had no fear of technology and bought apps, printers extra drives -- all kinds of goodies. If I were to criticize one thing, it might be that she ran disk cleanup way more than necessary (haha). I think she was ready to upgrade to Windows 10 when we deemed her a little dangerous on the internet and had to implement some curbs. And as cool and surprising as this little story is, it's just one of many things that my mother mastered in her lifetime.

 

It was with heavy hearts we buried my mother today surrounded by all of her children and many of her large family. She had the funeral she wanted -- a big, traditional Mormon service. The service of mostly grandchildren speaking, singing, praying, and participating as pallbearers was so lovely and she would have been tickled pink. We even had a very fit young granddaughter as a pallbearer who performed her duties in high heels. Mom would have loved it, as well as the bagpiper who played Going Home, as she had requested (and made us all cry).

 

You can read a little about my mother in her obituary at the link above, and watch a really wonderful slideshow of times of her life there, too.

Washing Windows

 I put off a lot of things during the pandemic in 2020. It hardly seemed worthwhile to clean downstairs every single week when I wasn't even spending time down there, let alone entertaining guests. I didn't really keep up on the weeds in the yard. I only got the oil changed in the car every six months (well, I never really reached the mileage, but thought six months was long enough to drive on that oil). And I never washed my windows. Unfortunately, with some of my procrastination, I've had to work hard to make up for lost time.

 With the lovely view from my home, clean windows are a must. And to go a whole year without washing them means I'm looking through a lot of dirt and doggie nose streaks. But, it's been even more than a year. I didn't wash the windows the year before either because of my cataract surgery and being unable to do strenuous tasks most of the summer. Yes, I know, I could have washed them in the fall -- but I didn't. 

 So I'm ashamed to say, I haven't washed my windows outside since 2018! And the person who suffers the most is me because I've been looking through that grime all this time. 

 But no more! Today I got up early, looked up my "recipe" for window washing, and got myself out the door by 8:30. An hour later I had washed and rinsed all 13 upstairs windows outside and cleaned the screens, too. I'm resting as I write this, and will next tackle the inside of that glass. But already the view has come into focus and it's beautiful. I've missed it!

 My windows are very high, and I use an unbelievably long squeegee to clean them. But I no longer use the squeegee as it's intended, to remove the water. I allow the windows to drip dry. I discovered a drip-dry "recipe" some years ago, and swear by it now. You simple hose down the windows, then wash with the soapy water, rinse with the hose and allow to dry without squeegeeing. The squeegeeing step was a backbreaking effort for me when I did it in the past because it required a certain amount of strength and leverage to effectively remove all the rinse water without streaks. I always ended up flat on my back after the ordeal of cleaning windows. Now, the task takes less time, and I'm not exhausted nor in pain after the job is done.

So, I thought I would share my recipe here for others like me who like clean windows but would like to make the task a little easier.

Here are the ingredients:
1/2 gallon warm (I used hot) water
1-2 Tablespoons of liquid Jet Dry (Finish Rinse Aid)
2-3 Tablespoons of liquid laundry detergent or Dawn dish washing soap
Mix all of the ingredients above.

Spray your windows down with a hose to get them wet, then wipe or brush the soapy solution onto your windows, and immediately hose it off. I use my squeegee to apply the solution to the windows as it's the only way I can get the soap up to my high windows. I soak a cleaning cloth or small towel in the solution, drape it over the squeegee, and apply it to the windows. I don't actually "scrub" the glass, just make sure to get it all good and soapy. This doesn't require the strength and leverage that's needed when removing rinse water with a squeegee. Much easier on me!

After rinsing with the hose, you're done. The remaining water just sheets off and you don't need to dry or squeegee it off.

I was able to clean all 13 windows and screens with a double batch of this mixture (I used a sponge on the screens and then rinsed with the hose). There is still enough solution left to clean the glass tops of my patio furniture. It took me an hour, start to finish, including removing the screens. If your terrain isn't hilly, like mine, you might get done even faster.

NOTE: I don't guarantee your windows will be 100% spot and streak-free, but they will be mostly so. I can live with the few spots that do remain as a trade off for the easy task.

Now, I'm through resting. Let's get on to the insides of those windows.