Saturday, July 28, 2012

Aloneness

CapricornCapricorn (12/22-1/19)   The line between yourself and others is widening right now, as you are entering a phase of solo introspection. This is something to embrace, not to be worried about. Even if your social life has not been extremely active lately, you will relish the discrepancy between what is going on in your own life and what is going on in the lives of other people around you. This is your chance to step back from the world and bow out of social obligations. Get used to greater freedoms.  

I don't normally pay attention to horoscopes, but this one holds some good advice for me at this stage in my life. I am transitioning out of work, at least mentally.  I find myself disinterested in any events going on there.  I just do my job and go home to my "real" life.  My social life has  been non-existent for months.  My closest friend has family obligations that restrict her available time.  I have not been dating for a year now.  I've had contact from a couple of men, but I don't encourage them. I have felt the need to "step back from the world."  My social interactions are mainly my kids and grandkids.  Otherwise, I seek a lot of solitude in my own home and yard and in wild places where I can find birds.

This is not a new state for me.  I've been through such phases before.  It often occurs during a period of transition.  I seem to need it in order to make mental adjustments to changes in life.  I embrace aloneness when I feel I need it.

Aloneness is not loneliness.  The first thing is more of a choice, something you can control.  The latter is an emotional reaction to the former.  

It's interesting to me that the last words of the horoscope say, "Get used to greater freedoms."  Aloneness in itself gives one greater freedom.  But I'm actually thinking more in terms of the phase after this, when I retire.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Peace and Quiet

 This neighborhood has been quiet and peaceful, if less than friendly, for the better part of my 33 years here.  But neighbors to my west have been making it unpleasant for a few years now.  Things escalated today when a shouting match erupted between them and the neighbors on their other side, and police and animal control were called.  There had been a dog attack incident a couple of weeks ago and emotions are still raw.  But the neighbors on my west are irresponsible pet owners and they have no-one to blame but themselves--especially not the dogs.

I have the uneasy feeling that this is not the end of the feud with hotheads on both sides.  For the first time in 33 years, I think I'd like to sell my house and move away.

Yes unfriendly.  Many of the couples my age who lived here sold to 30-somethings who have plenty of money, toys, no kids, and time to play, but lack consideration for others.  Most of the older people who are still here are Mormons who, if you know Mormons, are only friendly to you if there's some possibility of getting you into the church, but who abandon you if all you want is a friend.  My true friends live some distance from here and wish I would move closer.  But I haven't, because I love my house, my yard, my view.  I never really cared much about the neighbors as long as they didn't interfere with me--at least until now.

It's times like this that I feel lonely and wish I had a companion nearby to understand and co-miserate.  You know, one really nice, like-minded friend to share coffee or a glass of wine at sunset.  *sigh*