Sunday, August 18, 2013

An alter-ego

I loved the Cathy Bates character in the (now quite old) movie, "Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Cafe."  Stuck in a life that seemed to be controlling and stifling her, she came up with an alter-ego, Towanda!  Suddenly, she was able to do amazing things she had not dared to do before.  In doing so, she accomplished much and changed in ways that pleased herself and (eventually) those around her as well.

Well, I've been in quite a funk for months now for a number of reasons.  Mainly too many changes in a very short time.  I don't seem to adapt as well as I should.  And I do feel that life is controlling me to some extent.  Or at least that I'm capitulating when I should be the one in control.  I'm not getting things done like I want to.  I keep feeling like I need someone to fire a starting gun or something.  I plan things out in my head, but can't seem to put the plan into action.  This is not like me!

It's time to bring out my own alter-ego.  Someone who is a part of Becky, but has perhaps been buried in order to get along with the world and take a path of least resistance.  I know who she is.  My alter-ego is fearless, strong, shrewd, and sometimes aggressive when needed.  In all situations, she is constantly alert, thinking, analyzing, deciding.  She is brilliant at planning and executing.  She has a name which I will not reveal here.

I will now make it a point that my alter-ego will be present whenever I'm doing work in the house or yard, when I'm out in public, and when I'm walking or working out, or any other time she is needed.  She will always retire in the evenings to allow the quiet Becky to enjoy some relaxing, meditative and restorative time.

This is not a multiple personality condition, but rather a willful way of selectively using the strengths I have at the times they are most needed and appropriate.  And not always succumbing to passivity and doldrums as I seem likely to do lately.

I think in all of us there is a Towanda character. We bury her in our complacency or comfort.  But it's not really a comfortable place to be and there comes a time to acknowledge that part of ourselves and make use of her to make things happen.

My alter-ego mantra:  Fearless.  Strong.  Shrewd.  Brilliant!


troutbirder said...

Excellent. I like strong women. Can't help it. Married one. Team taught with one. Played the piano with one. Equal makes the best kind of relationships....

Bekkieann said...

Equal is best in relationships. It is the greatest way of one person respecting another. I envy your marriage, TB. It's a rarity anymore to find two such long-time compatible people who stay together through it all.