I've struggled so much the past couple of months with being productive and sticking with my plans, and I've felt so much guilt as a result. But as I was sorting through some old notebooks in my office this week, I came across some of my original lists from before I started any remodeling (not only do I write lists, I save them!). It brought back to mind the gargantuan job I had ahead of me at the time to clear out rooms, dispose of stuff, to plan and execute each remodel project. Now that I look back, I wonder how I accomplished it all. I decided to take the time today to scan through all of my various blogs, personal and public, and try to get a feel for the timing of events and how I was feeling throughout. SOOOO much has happened in those years. Births, deaths, marriages, divorces, moves, retirement (mine), friends coming and going. It is astonishing to me to read about it all encapsulated in one morning. There were plenty of ups and downs. But I kept an even keel most of the time and NEVER gave up on my goals. Some things got completed late or were deferred until another time. But I was ever prioritizing and sticking with it. And all along the way I seemed to be analyzing who I was and where I was in my life. A lot of introspection.
The truth is, I have accomplished a lot! Really! I have to be proud of myself for what I've achieved and the goals I've completed. What I have on my lists these days is so small in comparison. My review left me feeling so good and happy about what I have been able to do, and positive and hopeful about future possibilities.
My theme throughout it all was "Just Do Something". I don't know if I heard that somewhere, or if I just made it up, but oh, that theme served me
well. When the job is big and overwhelming. Or when you have so much
else going on, sometimes you can only do a little on the project. But
every little bit gets you a step closer to finishing. This is a good time for me to remember this.
Today, because of the time I spent on my review, I decided to skip the office project and do another little pressing task instead: I planted some flower seeds in a starter tray. I'm hoping to grow seedlings for annuals that I like in my yard and patio pots. We are months away from worrying about planting outside. But I'm hoping to have some nice little plants by that time. I planted three varieties of zinnias, Mexican sunflowers, delphiniums, verbena, and I experimented with planting some of the red berries from my asparagus fern as I had read you can do that, and they are so nice in pots. We shall see how things turn out.
I think I planted some figurative seeds today as well as a literal ones. I want my life to continue to evolve and I want to continue to be engaged not only in things that help others, but in things that please me and make my world nicer for myself. And I will try to give myself little pats on the back for successes big and small.