Friday, April 18, 2014


Things have a way of changing and changing and changing.  I keep thinking when the current "thing" is finished, life will finally be calm and I will have time to do some personal pursuits.  But the truth is, all the "things" in life tend to overlap, and that calm time never arrives. 

I don't remember which ended first, the remodel or the kids being out of school, but before those ended, my father took ill, was hospitalized twice, and has been up and down, but mostly down, ever since.  The situation with my folks has required that we siblings spend time in the home helping with care and household tasks.  It has necessitated a great deal of driving since I live about 40 minutes away.  I'm glad to do my part and grateful to have three other siblings who can help.  We have a large family, but some live too far away to help and one is in denial that any help is needed there. 

I am becoming far more acquainted than I would like with home health care workers.  I'm glad we have them coming in, but it also makes me think about what I will want for myself in the same situation.  As his health declines, dad dislikes all the attention and people coming and going.  Mom dislikes it too.  Help can be a hardship.  How is dad?  Not well.  What is expected?  We have no idea.  Medical people treat conditions and don't predict outcomes.  We hope for the best; prepare for the worst.

At home, I have the comfort of my little dog and things blooming in the yard.  The weeds are no comfort. But if I don't get around to them, then I'll turn to my trusty landscaper, Alberto, for help.  And I enjoy my finished home, although I have no time to invite guests to enjoy it with me.

I don't know what the coming days, weeks, months hold for the family.  But one thing I'm sure of is change.


troutbirder said...

It is so hard to see these things happen to our parents and deal with it. Your lucky to have a strong family and siblings close by to help. My two brothers and I separated almost 26completely because of politics but managed to work together with our moms Alzheimer's. Now she and they are gone but that ugly disease has appeared again closer to home. I know the future is unpredictable but their is faith or the promises we've made to carry on...:)

Bekkieann said...

Such awful news, TB. Your family has certainly suffered so much. I wish you courage and hope and will keep good thoughts for you.