For several days in a row I have awakened at 3 a.m. completely unable to get back to sleep. I know a number of things are weighing on my mind and are disturbing my sleep. Not the least of which is how to get caught up on all I need to do in the yard.
Sleeplessness is an affliction of middle age. I remember in my 20's having delicious long hours of sleep -- until the children came along. And even then, grabbing sleep whenever a minute allowed. It was so easy then. Not so much now.
The effects are cumulative when you get into one of these cycles of sleeplessness; you start having mental lapses, forgetfulness, slowness.
When I get up at 3, I'm fine most of the day until around 3 or 4 p.m. Yesterday (working from home), I literally fell asleep at my computer at about 3:45. Since it was quitting time, I shut down and proceeded to find a soft couch and zonked out for an hour. Even then I did not feel rested.
So here I am again at 5:30 a.m. already with over two hours of wakefulness under my belt. Along with a couple of cups of coffee. I'll be working from home again today, but I think I'll log in at 6 a.m., as I suspect around 3-ish I'm going to require a nap.
I am so resistant to the process of aging. I just don't want to give in. But I am recognizing that willpower alone will not stave off the effects. Perhaps I need to take my friend's advice and hire a little help with the yard and relieve a little of the worry that hangs around all the time in the back of my mind. Maybe then I could rest a little easier.