Sunday, January 13, 2013

I get an "F" in retirement -- so far

I suppose it doesn't help that I retired in January.  And that it has an especially ugly weather month so far.  Around Christmas, our temperatures dropped into a deep freeze, and by the new year, the inversion had set in.  My first week of retirement saw first several days of inversion and sub-freezing high temps, with a small break in temps just above freezing before the next storm blew in, taking away the smog, but keeping us mostly homebound for three days with constant snow, cold, treacherous driving.  And seemingly endless snow removal (two feet of snow at my house!).  This immediately is followed by arctic temps with a high today of 14 F, lows this week in the single digits and even below zero.  We won't even reach freezing in the next week.  And the inversion is expected to return in short order as well.  Depressing.

Yesterday, the skies finally cleared, and the bit of sunshine allowed us to get out despite the cold, and replenish food supplies.  In the evening, I noticed a beautiful sliver of moon just setting in the west.  No wonder things seem depressing.  In addition to the weather, it's a time of the shortest daylight hours and this is the week of the new moon with nearly no light from the sky, even when the clouds break, even at night.

Well, I can blame the weather, I guess.  But I'm really disappointed in myself with how I've spent my first week of retirement.  My number one activity (if you can call it that) has been sleeping.  Number two would be watching TV, movies, and internet.  Number three would be eating.  I managed to get the Christmas tree put away, although it took me three days.  I still haven't moved furniture back into place.  I got a couple of loads of laundry done and had sporadic bursts of housecleaning.  I paid a few bills, but have failed to even open most of the mail piling up on the desk..

The one day I got out for some birding was the highlight of the week.  And I did go to my grandson's birthday party the next evening, but left early and had a scary drive home in the snow.

I have largely wasted a whole week.  Maybe I needed to waste a week. Maybe it's a luxury after so many years of needing to be efficient with my time.  But it doesn't make me feel good at all.  It just makes me want to sleep more.

I recognize these are symptoms of depression, and I'll acknowledge that's a possibility, even for a normally upbeat person as I am.  But I think it's situational and will probably pass as the weather improves and as I manage to pull myself together and start accomplishing things.

So I get a failing grade for my first week.  I know I can do better.  I need to wake up.

P.S.  It doesn't help that they screwed up my final paycheck from work, shorting me a sum of money I was expecting to live on until my first SS check in February.  Now they had to back out the direct deposit and will send me a check instead -- next week.  And while I wait on that, congress is threatening to shut down the government and delay my first SS check.  No, I'm far from broke, but I didn't wish to start drawing on my savings so soon.  Grrr.

P.P.S.  The paycheck issue was satisfactorily resolved, if almost a week later.  But that does take some of the worry off.


Ien in the Kootenays said...

The whole point of retirement is freedom from being graded, so never mind the F. But I know what you mean about wasting time. The few times when I am on my own, minus husband, I seem to just flounder around. I find having a few obligations really help to make the rest of the week more meaningful and productive. It will come. Meanwhile, don't beat yourself over the head and get a good rest first.

Bekkieann said...

I am doing better after two weeks, and I'm a bit ashamed of whining so much. In fact, it has felt good to sleep a lot. I think I've needed some really good sleep. Feeling better all the time.