Don't You Want Somebody to Love?

When the truth is found to be lies
And all the joy within you dies

Dont' you want somebody to love?
Don't you need somebody to love?
Wouldn't you love somebody to love?
You'd better find somebody to love.
-- Grace Slick, Jefferson Airplane 1967

Ah yes, I remember 1967 -- the summer of love, wasn't it! I was a year out of high school and it was so easy then. Getting boyfriends I mean. Even at 30 after my first divorce, guys were plentiful. Now at 59, I don't know where they are, how to meet them, or if I even want to. But since my approximately 60%-ex husband has somebody to love, I should probably make an effort to get out there myself.

My friends don't want me to be alone and have lots of advice A couple say they found love on the internet. I'm skeptical about this online matchup thing, myself, but I decided to check it out.

I first looked at Match.com. I chose not to make my own profile but just a profile of the man that interests me. The problem is, they don't ask the right questions for me. I found myself marking "Any" for question after question (honestly, I don't have a favorite body part). I said No to smoking, very liberal to politics, spiritual but not religious to religion. That's about it. The matches started showing up in my email immediately. Well, I don't want to be unkind, but 90% of those guys sound way too eager and desperate. At least half of them want me to know what great lovers they are (something tells me if you have to say it in your profile, there's reason to be concerned). Most of them want my body type to be slender, toned, athletic. Well that rules me out. And most are looking for women anywhere from 10 to 20 years younger than themselves. Oh yeah, and my non-smoking preference didn't seem to matter as they sent me smokers as well as non. They even sent a guy with conservative politics and listing "brainiacs" as a Turn Off. This isn't working out well at all.

My biggest peeve is the category Turn Ons and Turn Offs. First of all, I refuse to even consider a guy who checks off anything there. But I also have to laugh at their choices. Nearly 100% find thunderstorms and public displays of affection turn ons. Sure they do. And then there's the "brainiacs" response. Some call it a turn on, some a turn off. But I call it a term only appropriate for girls under 14. I think a woman my age would rather be considered smart or savvy - never a brainiac!

Well, I didn't find a single one that even interested me. So, I tried Yahoo Personals. This time there was no Turn Ons Turn Offs category, so that's an improvement. But pretty much everything else is the same. Every other day or so they email me some matches. Same old thing. In fact, some of the same guys! I don't think this is going to work out for me. I finally saw one that seemed rather normal and nice, but then I realized I was not willing to contact him. Absolutely not. So I guess that either means internet dating is not for me, or more likely, I'm just not ready to jump into this yet.

Another friend tells me I'll never find a boyfriend as I'm too independent and self-sufficient, and men need to be needed. Maybe so, but this is what I am, and I'm too old to play Let's Pretend. Luckily I have my house and yard to love as they take all my spare time and energy right now. More on that later.